What is one of the biggest reasons relationships end all over the world?
One partner fall out of love with the other. Your ex just isn't that
into you anymore. When things usually start out so well in a
relationship, why does this happen?
One reason men and women leave relationships is "projection." Say, for
example, you wake up one morning and feel bad. You perhaps aren't used
to owning or taking responsibility for your feelings, you don't normally
acknowledge "Wow, I feel bad this morning. I have feelings of heaviness
in my jaws and stomach and I have feelings of depression and bleakness."
Most of us weren't trained to "own" our own feelings in so honest a way.
So instead, you look for the reason you feel bad, and there, lying right
next to you in bed, is a likely one.
It suddenly seems so completely obvious! She is not paying as much
attention to me anymore. She has also gained ten pounds. No wonder I
feel sad and depressed. It is her fault! (This really does
happen!)
So then he starts in on his girlfriend. "Why do you work so much? Why
don't you work less and start going to the gym? Why don't you spend more
time working on your how you look? You used to dress up and look
nice for me, now you just wear sweats..."
Projection demonstrates why so many relationships break up. We (men and
women) start to blame others for our own negative emotions. We aren't
trained to own or be responsible for our feelings.
Owning and being responsible
for our feelings is something we never learned. It means to notice
the feelings in our body like emptiness and to notice where in the body
they are located. Rather than go into our heads and make up
stories about why we feel the way we do.
So why do men leave? As an example, Jim has been feeling a lot of
emptiness and ennui lately. This is normal and happens to all of us from
time to time, we will feel empty. But rather than own and work with his
own feelings, he starts thinking "I am unhappy, I must be falling out of
love."
He could OWN his feelings, but he's never been trained how to do that!
He certainly wasn't taught that in school. By "owning" or acknowledging
these feelings to himself, he could begin to integrate them, instead of
keep them in his unconscious (the Shadow Side of his psyche). He could
become more whole and less split. But no! Most of us are "taught" that
if you feel bad, you need a better toothpaste, a new car, a sexier
playmate, something outside yourself.
Consider the idea that we all have a shadow side of ourselves where we
hold or store feelings we can't own, like sadness or rage. We walk
around like everything is fine, but then our child spills a glass of
milk and we rage and rant out of control. This is the shadow side
ranting!
So why do men leave? Often it is because of projection. They project
their unhappiness onto you. Can you get your ex back if this has
happened? It is difficult, and it may take a while, but in some cases it
can be done.
Get Ex Back Action Steps:
1. Notice if your partner
seems to be feelings off or sad lately.
2. See if you can discuss
this with them.
3. Notice if they seem to
want to blame you for their feelings.
4. Point this out as
gently as you can.
5. Give them time to work
through it.
There are a lot more steps to
the process of getting your ex back. If you would like to get your
ex back quickly, you can check out a
complete 7 Step Strategy here at
Get Your Love Back Now.
